Protocol
by Verdreht
Summary: Becker believes protocols are in place for a reason, and when Matt seriously breaches that protocol, the two have words. As a result, Becker realizes things aren't as black and white as he would like them to be, and Matt realizes his actions have consequences he hadn't considered. Coda to episode 4x03. Part 3 of Matt/Becker AU Verse (again, pre-slash or bromance: it's up to you)


Becker was not a happy man.

Matt knew the second he saw him striding down the hallway – because "stomping" seemed too trivializing a way to describe more than six feet of highly-trained, highly-pissed off soldier headed his direction – that he was, and he knew more or less what about. What he didn't know was how. That is, exactly how unhappy he was.

He guessed he'd find out. In three...two...

"What the hell do you think you're doing?"

One.

Unperturbed, Matt crossed his arms and held his ground. Had it been anyone else, or even Becker some other time, he might've donned a smile, just to be cheeky. But one look at Becker, at the furrow of his brows and the hard set of his jaw, and he knew this wasn't the time. He'd let Becker say his piece, get out whatever he hadn't in the hospital, and then he'd do what he could to repair the damage.

"You can't just take her in like a stray cat," Becker said. He wasn't shouting; his voice was the kind of cold hard calm that somehow had more impact than the other. The way he angled in, spoke through gritted teeth, and glanced around before he did, showed as mad as he was, he had the sense to keep quiet about it. Which meant he wasn't entirely beyond reasoning. "We've been over this, Matt. She's dangerous. A threat."

Matt very deliberately kept his face schooled. "Because she's not from our time?" There was a note of challenge to it. As well there should have been. Becker didn't know, wasn't supposed to know – Becker couldn't know – but Matt had more in common with Emily than he could understand. If Becker thought she couldn't be trusted simply because she hadn't been born in his time, then what did that say about the two of them?

Then again, he was lying to the lot of them. So maybe Becker would be right not to trust him. Still. Seemed a shame. They'd made progress, the last week or so. To Becker, Matt no longer seemed to be just the guy that replaced his friends; and to Matt, Becker was no longer just the skilled-yet-stubborn soldier who saw fit to second guess him at every turn.

He maintained it wasn't that he was getting attached; their newfound detente just made things easier. He didn't want to lose it over a single disagreement on protocol and principle.

"I told you: she's a human being, Becker, same as you and me and Connor and Abby. I don't recall you kicking up much fuss when the two of them came through the anomaly."

Becker scowled. "That was different."

"How?" Matt said. "You think because she was born in another time, that makes her any less human?" He might've had a bit of a unique perspective on things, but he would've thought Becker was smarter than that. Better than that. "Not a creature. Not a killer."

"The dead woman in the theatre might've had a different perspective on that," Becker retorted.

"She was dying before she came through the anomaly!"

But Becker didn't give an inch. "And what about the man whose head she broke a vase over? He's in the hospital with a concussion and twenty-three stitches. Or you, Matt." He didn't give any warning, just reached out and grabbed Matt by the front of the shirt, tugging the collar down until he could see the bruise blooming where she'd smacked him with the branch. He held it there long enough to make his point, then released it with something dangerously close to a snarl. "How many more people does she have to hurt before you realize she can't be trusted?"

There was something in the way he said it, something that reached beyond the usual righteous indignation – which, if he was being honest, was probably more than a little justified – and irritation. He'd heard a hint of it back in the hospital, but things had been too tense, with Becker just finding out about his man at the theatre. This time, though, face-to-face with not even a single passerby in the hall as a distraction, he didn't miss it. It wasn't just anger, wasn't just vindication.

If he didn't know the man any better, he'd have said it was hurt. Betrayal, maybe.

And then he remembered what he said back at the hospital. That Matt's chasing Emily through the anomaly put everyone at risk, that...that he'd seen too many people die that way.

Bullocks.

"This isn't about Emily, is it?" It wasn't really a question. More a moment of grimace-worthy clarity, shared with the class.

"Don't change the subject," Becker said. "I asked you a question."

"I just assumed it was rhetorical. Or do want some sort of figure?"

Becker growled. "Damn it, Matt—"

"No," Matt interrupted. "Normally I'd be happy to sit back and let you have it out with me until you'd said what you needed to say, but right now, you need to listen to me."

"Is that an order?" Becker ground the words through his teeth. "Sir."

Matt pretended to be unbothered. "If that's what it needs to be, then yes. It's an order." He took a breath. He wasn't very good at this. He was a team leader, but heart to hearts had never been in the job description. Especially not with men as hard-headed and emotionally constipated as Becker.

And coming from Matt, that was saying something.

But he had to try, if only for the sake of patching things over. Never mind the fact that Becker probably did deserve an explanation. "I know I broke protocol following Emily back through that anomaly."

Becker opened his mouth to speak, but Matt raised a hand to cut him off. He glared that much harder, but pursed his lips tightly. So, he wasn't happy about it, but he would do it.

Matt would take what he could get. "It was reckless. I know that just as well as you do, and I'll admit I didn't take the time to weigh the pros and cons of the thing. The way I saw it, a frightened woman, a civilian whom it's our job to protect, mistakenly ran into harm's way. I didn't think; I just acted. And while I recognize that's a dangerous thing to do in our line of work, I don't regret what I did." When he saw, though, his words weren't having the desired impact on Becker, he decided to change tactics. "Look me in the eye and tell me you would have let her go through. That you would have watched an innocent woman run to her death by accident."

It was a real question, in a way. A genuine test, not just to prove his point. Could Becker really have done it? Everything Matt knew about him was in conflict. On the one hand, Becker was a soldier. He was practical to a fault, followed orders to the letter, and of all of them save maybe Connor and Abby, he most knew the dangers of anomalies. On the other hand, though, everything Matt had seen of him said that Becker was a good man. He cared for people. Every life they lost, it seemed to take something out of him, like a deep wound, self-inflicted. It was hard, no, impossible to imagine him standing idly by while someone was in harm's way.

In a way, he got his answer when Becker didn't answer right off the bat. He faltered a moment, then said firmly, "The protocols are in place for a reason, Matt."

"I know they are," Matt said. "That doesn't answer my question." Because sort of getting an answer and actually getting one weren't the same thing. Matt didn't just want to know; he needed to know. "Would you have watched someone go through an anomaly and not tried to save their life? Not Connor or Abby. Not me or Jess. Some random civilian, someone that doesn't know our rules or our regulations. Would you have let them run to their deaths, if there was something you could do to stop it?"

A lot rested on Becker's answer. A tension had fallen over them, thick and dense and smothering. Blue eyes met hazel, and neither blinked, but Matt could see the conflict play out as surely as if it were his own. He wanted to say yes, that he would've. He wanted to say it so badly, Matt could almost hear his voice form the word. But it never came. Because for all going through that anomaly would counter everything he stood for, everything he wanted to protect people from, every mistake he'd ever perceived himself to have made...not going through it would go against everything he believed in. And soldier or not, Becker was a man. A good man, with morals and integrity, and no amount of burying them beneath layers of protocol and authority and that bloody uniform of his would change that.

An almost pained look crossed his face, and he finally admitted what Matt had already guessed: "No." Just the one word, and even that seemed to have taken a lot to say. He pursed his lips again, nose flaring and eyes burning with a mix of things Matt couldn't even begin to sift through.

Matt knew it was an inappropriate response to Becker's obvious distress, but he couldn't help it; he smiled. He tried not to take it personally when Becker stiffened under his hand when he clapped him on the shoulder. "Then you're just as good a man as I thought you were," he said. The smile fell from his face, then, and he sighed. "I'm truly sorry about your man, Becker. And I'm sorry for anything my going through the anomaly might've stirred up for you, really I am."

He found he genuinely meant that too. He couldn't really explain why, but the thought of the man before him suffering the way Matt could see sometimes that he did was...disquieting. And no, it wasn't about attachments – he held fast to that; he had to – but about common decency and universal justice. How could someone that gave so much to save so many get screwed over so many times? It wasn't fair. And Matt wanted to party to that injustice as little as possible.

"Just know, I'm not trying to make light of what you went through, with Abby and Connor. I would never deliberately put you in that position, not if there was anything I could do to avoid it. And for what it's worth, I swear to at least give it some thought next time."

"Before you inevitably do it anyway," Becker deadpanned.

Matt shrugged. "It's an improvement, at least. Consider me a work in progress." He tucked a hand in his pocket. "All joking aside, I really do mean it, Becker. It's not an easy job you have, trying to keep us all safe. You have my word I'll do what I can not to make it any harder than it has to be. Alright?"

For a moment, Becker just studied him, as if searching for some sign of insincerity or condescension. Matt made sure there wasn't any of either for him to find, and it paid off when at long last, Becker gave a stiff nod. "Alright."

Matt's smile returned. "Good." He clapped Becker on the shoulder, and although Becker didn't quite smile, some of the tension seemed to have eased from his frame. He gave a little with the smack, although the look on his face when he straightened could only be described as chagrined.

"You're not gonna hug me now, are you?" Becker said, scarred brow arched. There was a bit of a light in his eyes as he did that hadn't been there before. Matt was glad to see it back.

He didn't miss the joke, either, reversed as the roles were. Only this time, no one was doubled over trying to catch their breath from an EMD charge.

He chuckled and shook his head. "God, no." And thinking that was the end of it, he started to go, only to stop when Becker's hand closed around his arm, pulling him back around.

"Be careful with her." He was talking about Emily, clearly, and he was suddenly dead serious. "You might think she's harmless, but don't give her the chance to prove you wrong." And maybe it was just his imagination, but he couldn't help thinking Becker looked...worried. Not about Emily. Not about the mission.

About Matt.

Struck by the intensity of Becker's gaze, he was the first to break their thereto unbroken eye contact. He glanced down at Becker's hand on his arm, only to watch it very quickly retract. Like Becker was remembering himself, even though Matt had done something similar only moments before. He tried not to notice when Becker cleared his throat and folded his hands behind his back. Back to being a soldier, then. Back to protocol. Another shame.

"I'll keep that in mind," he said.

"Right." Becker nodded. "Tomorrow, then."

"Tomorrow," Matt confirmed, and then with one last nod, he slipped past Becker and continued down the hall.

"I'll need a full background on your time-traveller too, by the way," Becker called after him, voice carrying clearly down the empty hall. "Minus the...obvious omissions. For security purposes."

Matt kept walking. "Of course you will do."

It was only protocol.


End file.
